Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
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