New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Two words: nipple clamps
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