Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
