We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
