I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
