The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
