It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize