we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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