So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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