i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
