I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
