either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He told me they were just razor bumps!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
