My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
