If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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