Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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