He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
