I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
