But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
