like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
