Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
