Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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