But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
