I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
