yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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