he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
