i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
