I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
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We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
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Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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