All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
