hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
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I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
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have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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