did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
