i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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