when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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