Is it because I queefed?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
