Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
