everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize