apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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