tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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