just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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