I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
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well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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