This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
