I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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