I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
this boner is exhausting
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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