why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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