I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
soo... how was my night?
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