I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
