i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
