I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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