Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
