I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
