I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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