Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
