I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
