pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
