So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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