I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
