Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
All the doctor said was why
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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