I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
