So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
