dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
