The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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