i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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