Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
